Heavy In Your Arms
by LeLa London
Summary: Katniss Everdeen was never born to John and Florence Everdeen. In another world, only one child was born to them, a blonde haired girl named Primrose. Stuck in a confusing place that is familiar yet foreign, how will she find her way home?
1. Vivify

A/N: So hey guys, here's a brand new story idea, hope you guys like it. Drop me a review to tell me what you think! :)

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_Katniss Everdeen was never born to John and Florence Everdeen. In another world, only one child was born to them, a blonde haired girl named Primrose. Stuck in a confusing place that is familiar yet foreign, how will she find her way home, especially when meets Peeta Mellark and Gale Hawthorne? Katniss knows them, but they don't know her. What is she going to do? With the chance to see her sister and father alive again, when the time comes, would she even want to return?_

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**Chapter 1: Vivify**

There is darkness and pain everywhere. They're shooting up and down her sore body. She can barely register anything, but the steady sounds of a heart monitor machine nearby. There are tubes and wires connected to her, keeping her alive. She must be in a hospital of some sort, but where? The last thing she remembers is being engulfed in a deadly flame. The heat burning her flesh, turning skin into something unrecognizable, her screams tore from her lips and someone else was with her, who tried to help her. Peeta. He got burned too. Was he alright? Was he alive?

Katniss hears movement from the edge of the bed, a curtain being drawn back and then a sharp, intake of breath.

"I believe the girl is finally waking up!" Relief reflected in their tone. It was her mother's. She was sure of it.

Wait, she thought. Something is not right. Why wasn't her own mother recognizing her daughter?

"Flor, you should rest." Another deeper male voice joins the first before asking, "You've been looking after this girl for over two weeks. I don't understand what makes this one so special."

The woman sighs. "I don't know how to explain this feeling. I feel like I know this girl."

"But how could you? I've never seen her before in my life. Didn't you say Hazelle's son, Gale found her injured out in the woods? I mean who would attack this girl? She can't be more than 18," he puzzles out loud.

His wife sounds troubled, "I don't know, dear."

She shivers at the thought.

Not able to wait another minute, Katniss gathers enough strength to open her eyes.

She gasps at the two figures. One was a man who had dark, wavy hair, a strong nose and jaw, he had his arms wrapped around a woman who looked a lot like her mother: blonde, blue eyes, and a small built, but there was startling difference. This woman's eyes held more life in them than Katniss was ever used to seeing. She couldn't help, but focus on the man's distinct features too. His familiar gray eyes contained surprise. They were a pair of eyes that she thought she had lost forever. They were her father's.


	2. Wonderwall

****A/N: Alright, so here's chapter two. I'm working on making the future chapters longer. As always, please let me know what you thought! :D

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**Chapter 2: Wonderland**

Her breathing begins to quicken, and her arms automatically clutches the thin sheets. Suddenly, she takes in her surroundings, confirming that she was indeed in a rundown hospital. Tilting her head to see better, the image staring back her doesn't disappear. Unbelievable. The man standing in front of her couldn't be her father. He had died in a coal mine explosion seven years ago. She had stood there along with Gale, a boy who also lost his father in the accident too, accepting the medal that would honor their memories. And yet now, he solidly stood here very much alive, confusion evident in his face. He wasn't the only one.

With the old ache of missing her father weighing in her chest, Katniss presses forward, "Who are you?"

The man and woman looked at each other before speaking.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself. My name is Florence Everdeen and this is my husband, John," nodding to him. "I work as a nurse here in District 12. You were found in the woods, gravely injured by one of my friend's son. Can you tell us your name, child?"

She freezes, somehow sensing that her real name might alarm them so she says instead, "Kat."

Both of them nod, asking their next question. Florence continues, shining with concern, "Forgive me if I'm prying, can you tell me what happened to you?"

Katniss releases the breath she was holding, attempting to calm her racing heart, frantic like a rabbit's about to fall prey to an unknown hunter. She can't afford to let herself be a victim or let her guard down, even if a small part of her desperately wanted to. These two people resembled her parents, but they couldn't possibly be her real parents. The world didn't make sense. She still didn't know what was going on. She had to start at the beginning of what she could remember, to piece together what had happened.

"I…there was a battle. Children were in a large field, surrounded by a manor. Everything was in chaos. Peacekeepers were holding down civilians, trying to shoot down disguised rebels. I wanted to save my sister, but I was too late. She died right before me and I couldn't do anything," Katniss chokes, sobs threatening to break her careful composure. She closes her eyes as if to stop the flashback altogether.

She looks up when she feels the soft pressure of a hand on her left arm. Florence's blue eyes held sympathy. John also looked at her in kindness.

In that moment, Katniss decides that she resents their gazes. She didn't want their sympathies because that wouldn't change the fact that she had killed her sister.

She shudders on though, can't forget that there was another important person on that gruesome scene, "I was hit by a stray bomb that was exploding my way I think. My friend rushed to stop me from completely burning. I don't know what had happened to him. Did you find anyone next to me?"

Fragile hope blossoms in her chest at the chance that if Peeta were here with her, she wouldn't have to face whatever was happening to her alone. She needs him to be well and safe. They have been through too much together for him to just die. Peeta has always been such an inherently good person. A soul like his was rare. For that reason, he deserves to live. She didn't want to think otherwise.

_Please_, Katniss prays silently in her head.

Florence hesitantly replies, "No, Kat we didn't find anyone with you."

Katniss's heart sinks at the news.

He could be dead.

Without warning, a new kind of pain expands inside her heart. The force quickly pulls the breath out of her while her head bursts with denial. She comprehends vivid spots dancing before her vision and then, nothing.


	3. Falling

A/N: Hey guys, sorry this took forever. I'm still mapping out this story and it's definitely a work in progress. Also, I recently started a summer internship and gotten sick as well. Writing this chapter was sort of struggle. The general idea was there, but all the details were added painstakingly. I was reading other HG fanfics and I think it just hit me how draining Mockingjay's content was and then with this chapter, it was the same because I'm picking up after Prim's death. Anyway, hope you like this part. _Please leave me a review to share your thoughts._ :)

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**Chapter 3: Falling **

_Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release_

_Wish for falling through the air to give me some relief_

_Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace_

_It's only when I hit the ground it causes all the grief_

Florence + the Machine

/

"She fainted from shock," Florence explains to John when Katniss wakes for the third time, but she's not sure how long she's been out. Katniss barely pays attention to what they're saying, because she is lost to what she had to witness, too awake in her grief to care because her mind remembers now. And with those memories, dauntless emotion fills her like an infinite stream, constantly flowing, flooding at her from all possible sides. The power is strong enough to immobilize her limbs. Katniss sees the tiny room more clearly from a distance, the gray, barren walls along with several other beds cramped in the space.

Instead, her mind is in the middle of chaos. It's all over the place. Civilians and members of her squad are behind her while she's further ahead than the rest of them. When she sees a flash of dirty blond hair, prominent rebel medic uniform and Red Cross on her hat, Katniss goes limp. Strength temporarily leaves her. It's not until she catches the sight of Prim's medic shirt un-tucked from her skirt that shakes Katniss into action again, allowing her to unfreeze her legs to move urgently into a run. One thought conquers her building hysteria: no, not her.

The second rounds of parachutes go off and children are blasted into grisly, monstrous fragments. Their blood steadily stains the once pristine snow.

Prim: her sweet Primrose gone in unforgiving glory of fiery-orange light. She couldn't process everything right away.

At this moment, Katniss can.

President Snow killed her and she couldn't stop what happened to Prim. Katniss failed to protect the one person she cared most for in the world.

Often times when the unexpected guilt gnaws at her conscious, they would also invade her dreams, she wishes with a terrible ache that she could go back in time, and do anything to make life as she once knew it, normal. In a place where she'd spent Sundays hunting with her best friend even if it were illegal. They would have been together in the forest, hidden from others while they struggled to bring game home to feed their families. Gale and she wouldn't have had to talk; words weren't needed. Prim would be waiting to be picked up at school like most weekdays and in the afternoons after they walked home, Prim would pet Buttercup with such fondness, Katniss would find the corners of her mouth curve into a smile as well.

If she could have known the true consequences of war, the sacrifices she needed to end it, she would have done things differently.

What use is it to think about 'what ifs' now? She can't help imagining various scenarios.

Sometimes, she likes to envision she gets to the horrible scene on time, covers her sister's fragile body with her own, protecting her from the threat of explosions. Katniss would meet her wide, innocent blue eyes and knowing that Prim was alive.

She usually wakes up from that nice dream though. It feels like on the inside she's always, silently ready to start shouting Prim at the top of her lungs until her throat becomes raw and strained, as if through her pleads she could reverse her sister's fate. No one ever hears her.

Back in the hospital room, Katniss feels all alone, trying to battle her reactions while she curls up in a ball, covered in her threadbare blanket. She knows it's too late to save them, but it's like a small part of her can't accept their deaths. The worse thing to live with is she understands the role she played in their deaths, and she doesn't know how to deal with everything.

It becomes too much and Katniss slips under.

/

She's illuminated by real fire, the flares sending her body into a panic and she can't register anything but an overwhelming sensation of agony. Now she is truly Cinna's Girl on Fire and Panem's brilliant Mockingjay. The symbolic wings of rebellion are burning black and the smell of scorched flesh reaches her nostrils. Her heartbeat is wild and beyond her control. The air in her lungs constrict and they aren't able to keep her alive for much longer.

When she's thinks, _This is it. I survived two Games, started a rebellion and a war, but what kills me is fire. It would funny if it weren't oddly tragic. I can be with Prim and my father.  
_

Strong hands grab her while she fades unconscious due to the immense pain.

Her last thought is: no.

/

Eyes like the skies. His kind smile. A constant source of calm when she's around him. Sturdy, but gentle hands used for baking and painting.

The boy with the bread.

Peeta.

/

In the end, she's failed him too.

/

"Kat. Kat," Florence's voice comes from a distance. "Can you hear me? You have a visitor."

Has another day or more passed?

Katniss still wasn't sure where she was. Florence and John never got the chance to tell her. There are too many questions floating in her head. Did she permanently fall asleep? Is this her version of heaven? Maybe that theory wasn't far off. Where else would she see her father alive again? A mother that appeared happy and complete?

Shaken by the sudden, quiet creak of a door opening, she recognizes a tall, handsome man with dark hair and Seam grey eyes entering the room.

Katniss's not even thinking when she gasps out one staggering name. "Gale."

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A/N: By the way, I'm looking for a beta. Is anyone available?


	4. Wide Awake Preview

A/N: Hey guys, here's a sneak preview of the next chapter. I've been very busy with summer school, an internship, and my part-time job. I just got a beta so I'm waiting for her edit and then I'll post the rest.

I guess my question for you is: _Do you honestly want me to continue this story? Is it even worth it? _

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**Chapter 4: Wide Awake Sneak Peak**

_I wish I could save you_

_I wish I could say to you_

_I'm not going nowhere_

_I wish I could say to you_

_It's gonna be alright_

_It's gonna be alright_

Kelly Clarkson- Save You

/

He looks the same, she realizes: her best friend, her old hunting partner, her confidant as if the sight of him brought her back to three years ago before her world changed, before Prim was chosen, before she volunteered in her sister's place, before the seventy-fourth games, before Peeta, before Snow, before the Quell, before everything else happened. She could close her eyes and clearly imagine being back in the forests of her District 12 where the trees would be numerous. He would be sitting by their rock that separated the forest from the Meadow, waiting for her so they could hunt game together and feed their families for the week. After probably spending days having nightmares over Prim's and haunted by Peeta's memory, she feels something foreign like hope unfurl, ever so slightly and it settles inside her chest. Gale was familiar, someone she had at point in her life told her deepest secrets too. When she was with him, Katniss was always herself. He understood her and she understood him. They shared the terrible pain of losing their fathers at a young age, the responsibility of being the breadwinners of their families, the same fire in their hate for the Capitol and their oppression and dominating authority over Panem.

She forgets that she isn't truly back at home. Katniss just throws her arms around his body as soon as he comes near, burying herself in how strong Gale's presence is. Her left cheek rests on side of his neck, inhaling his musk: a vague pine scent probably from the forest they used to frequently hunt from with an addition of coal dust gathered in. That's right, she thinks. He probably works in the mines now. She never got reaped here. Katniss didn't pull the stunt with the berries. There's no rebellion. "I'm so glad you're here."

It's not long before she notices how stiff he is. Katniss is about to pull away, thinking she was foolish to not fight her impulse when Gale carefully hugs her back, and that warmth she craved returns. For several minutes, Katniss holds on tight. She doesn't realize she's crying until she loosens her hold and there are wet spots running his neck.

Beyond embarrassed, she mutters, "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

He dismisses her with a shake of his head. After moments of silence ensue, he opens his mouth to speak, unsure of where to start. His confusion is written on his handsome face. Katniss doesn't know where to start either, but is relieved when he breaks the quiet tension they had running.

Finally, Gale manages an inquiry, "Look, I don't actually know who you are, but you seem to know me." His Seam grey eyes are curious, but otherwise heavily guarded.


	5. Wide Awake

A/N: Hi there! I got impatient and posted this chapter anyway. All the mistakes are mine. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 4: Wide Awake**

_I wish I could save you_

_I wish I could say to you_

_I'm not going nowhere_

_I wish I could say to you_

_It's gonna be alright_

_It's gonna be alright_

Kelly Clarkson- Save You

/

He looks the same, she realizes: her best friend, her old hunting partner, her confidant as if the sight of him brought her back to three years ago before her world changed, before Prim was chosen, before she volunteered in her sister's place, before the seventy-fourth games, before Peeta, before Snow, before the Quell, before everything else happened. She could close her eyes and clearly imagine being back in the forests of her District 12 where the trees would be numerous. He would be sitting by their rock that separated the forest from the Meadow, waiting for her so they could hunt game together and feed their families for the week. After probably spending days having nightmares over Prim's explosive death and haunted by Peeta's memory, she feels something foreign like hope unfurl, ever so slightly and it settles inside her chest. Gale was familiar, someone she had at point in her life told her deepest secrets too. When she was with him, Katniss was always herself. He understood and she understood him. They shared the terrible pain of losing their fathers at a young age, the responsibility of being the breadwinners of their families.

For a second, she forgets that she isn't truly back at home. Katniss just throws her arms around his body as soon as he comes near, burying herself in how strong Gale's presence is. Her left cheek rests on side of his neck, inhaling his musk: a vague pine scent probably from the forest they used to frequently hunt from with an addition of coal dust gathered in. That's right, she thinks. He probably works in the mines now. She never got reaped here. Katniss didn't pull the stunt with the berries. There's no rebellion. "I'm so glad you're here."

It's not long before she notices how stiff he is. Katniss is about to pull away, thinking she was foolish to not fight her impulse when Gale carefully hugs her back, and that warmth she craved returns. For several minutes, Katniss holds on tight. She doesn't realize she's crying until she loosens her hold and there are wet spots running his neck.

Beyond embarrassed, she mutters, "Sorry. I didn't mean to."

He dismisses her with a shaken of his head. After moments of silence ensue, he opens his mouth to speak, unsure of where to start. His confusion is written on his handsome, angular face. Katniss doesn't know where to start either, but is relieved when he breaks the quiet tension they had running.

Finally, Gale manages an inquiry, "Look, I don't actually know who you are, but you seem to know me." His Seam grey eyes are curious, but otherwise guarded.

There's a pang coming from somewhere in her system. Katniss knows her Gale wouldn't treat her as distant as this one does. They had too much history together and known similar grief that bonded them to one another's side, but it hurt to know this Gale didn't know her at all. Gale and she were never best friends here. She has to remember that part.

Katniss stares at him blankly. How is she supposed to explain herself? She thinks she may have gone crazy? She's not sure what happened to her? Oh, what about: maybe she's starting to believe the absurd theory that she's come up with; could Katniss be stuck in another world? Otherwise, how else can she explain the sudden of a breathing John? Or a happy, coherent Florence? In her mind's eye, there's a clear image of Gale. His long dark locks fall below his ears just like he used to wear it before Katniss volunteered for Prim in the Seventh-Fourth Hunger Games. Here, this Gale has the exact hair style. _Yeah_, she thinks. _Are there insane asylums wherever she is?_ That's the first place they'll send her once she tries for the truth. Thinking about this is beginning to give her an immense headache along her temple. Katniss rubs the spot warily.

Okay, she has to say something though. But what?

_Think Katniss_, she tells herself. _There must be some reasonable explanation for this behavior._ If only, there were. She would have to make something up.

"You told me your name right before I passed out," she says, hoping he'll believe her. It's the best thing she can come up with, and it might have actually happened. Her recent memories conjure a vague picture of him shouting her name in alarm, begging her to wake up.

He pauses, trying to recall the memory. "Oh, I did tell you that day," his expression somewhat clears at her words. "I guess I forgot. I kept shouting at you to wake up, but your eyes were drifting far away. "

This may be the first time Katniss has tried to lie to him. She's uncomfortable doing it, and her hands fidget in her lap, while Gale steadily watches her movements.

Something about her is unsettling him and he doesn't trust strangers, but he finds himself being gentle with her. He didn't have reasonable explanation for this rarity. Gale goes with it. "Hey," he says, softly. "I never got your name."

"Oh, it's Kat."

He gives her a slow smile with the corners of his lips. "Welcome to District 12, Kat."

At that, Katniss sits up straighter from her bed. But how could that be? This new information isn't helping her make sense of what's going on with her. If anything, it confuses her more.

"District 12?" There's definitely a hint of hysteria in her voice, but likely not for the same reason he thinks she is. This place is familiar yet everything she knows is fundamentally different. Her father's alive. Her mother never fell into a deep depression over losing her husband. What about, she starts, choking up. What about Prim?

"Yes," he confirms, eyes quickly clouding with concern. Holding his hands out to her in a placating gesture like Katniss is a frightened bird about to take flight at the smallest sound. He continues, "We're…Florence, John and I, are not going to hurt you. The others in 12 won't either."

No, she can't think about Prim. Katniss has to focus on something else. Instead, she observes that peculiarity again: Gale's showing Katniss his softer side. She's only seen glimpses of that when she was over at the Hawthorne's when he took care of his youngest sister, Posy. Why would he show her this? He didn't know her here. They weren't friends.

The girl in front of him appeared so hurt and shattered, from the bandages covering her from head to toe, to the machines she was hooked on to keep her stable, to the visible, fresh grief dominating her unique grey eyes; they all screamed of great loss and immeasurable darkness. Don't ask him why (he probably couldn't explain it himself; this strange connection he has towards Kat), but whatever the reason, Gale is compelled to ease her pain. It doesn't matter if he didn't know who she was. No one should face their battles alone. And by the looks of things, she had no one to help her. Whoever she loss, was irreplaceable, which is why he could learn to be her friend now.

"I want to believe you…" Katniss trails, uncertainty painting her tired features. The lack of sleep is apparent in the dark circles under her eyes and the sluggish way she moves; her blinks are slow and it takes her longer to comprehend what he's saying.

"I know. We'll start small."

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**_This chapters questions: _**

Was Gale in character? Was the relationship between Katniss and Gale believable?

**_For next time:_**

What do you, the reader, hope to find out? What will happen next? Your predictions to how Katniss will continue to react to her new world (Alt. District 12, Alt. Capitol, the Games, etc)? Seeing Alt. Prim? Alt. Peeta?


End file.
